Really? I Did?
While at the MS today, I took a moment to chat with one of my favorite teachers. She is sassy but kind. Firm but patient. Charming but down to earth. She is one of the teachers I have always wished I could be as good as. Her way with students is second to none; she loves them and they respect her. The expectations she places on herself are high, but she never makes others feel inferior to her standard.
This lady is wonderful in so many ways. That's why I was shocked to near paralyzation when she told me a few things about herself that had changed since she began teaching many years ago. Apparently, she hasn't always been the person she is today. Sometimes she didn't do what was best, and may have seen things through a cloudy lense. I too have come a long way over the years, and occassionally feel like a fraud. I sometimes get overwhelmed and think I can't do a good enough job and there must be a million people who could accomplish so much more than I am capable of doing. At times, I question my value, and silently wonder if I'm good enough for my students because they deserve so much. So, when she shared with me that she had grown as a teacher, I instantly loved her even more. Her confession made me feel more comfortable because it showed me that someone as fabulous as her had to work at being so great. I was reminded that I am not finished growing. I will continue to improve as a woman and a teacher. This isn't as good as I will get. I will get even better. That is inspiring.
Another aspect of the conversation that empowered me was her statement that I! Me! Mrs. Booher! was responsible for helping her grow. Something I had said to her at the beginning of the year resonated with her. A point I had made actually made a point. By sharing what I felt was important, I helped her change the way she saw a situation, for the better. Wow! Who knew I had the power to make a difference? I certainly didn't. The irony in the situation is that just this morning I had told my daughter that sometimes it is better to remain quiet than to try to change the way other people feel because stating your opinion can often have negative results. We were discussing a sticky situation, and I used an example from my own silence during lunch on Thursday to show her why being quiet is sometimes better. I regretted saying that to my Sophia as soon as I said it because I wondered if it was really the right lesson. I wondered if I was teaching her to take the easy way out. To be a coward. After lunch on Thursday, when I had chosen to be quiet rather than say what I felt was right, I carried shame with me for the remainder of the day. However, I justified it by telling myself that silence was the safest choice. When my fav teacher told me my voice had been the one that had brought her to the "other side" of the issue, my heart sunk. I had taught Sophia the wrong lesson. When it comes to saying the right thing, it isn't always better to keep your opinion to yourself in the name of safety because you may be passing up an opportunity to reach someone on the edge of the debate. I'm going to discuss this with Sophia tomorrow. I want her to know I was wrong. I want her to know that's ok, because just like that teacher, it's never too late to improve yourself. It's never too late to make the right choice and do the right thing. It's never too late to grow.
No comments:
Post a Comment